Earlier this week I got my haircut. Aside from the normal excitement with a new style and color, I was also excited to catch up on my hairstylist’s life. It turns out my hair stylist happens to be a periphery friend and as such we are also Facebook Friends. I was very surprised last week when her Facebook status changed from “single” to “in a relationship.” Of course, during my appointment I got the whole scoop on her new beau but I couldn’t help but wonder (sorry to be so Kerry Bradshaw) about this dynamic of social networking sites. Is this the new way we communicate major details of our lives to our friend groups?
For example, last week I was very surprised when my father called me to ask about my new job. I hadn’t shared the specifics or even the simple news that I in fact had a new job to anyone in my family. Mind you the story was not even ONE DAY OLD. But I had changed my status to read, “Jennifer has a new job” or something to that effect. Of course my dad who calls using the internet “surfing the net” has neither a Facebook account nor even the knowledge of how to navigate a webpage, couldn’t have found out that way. When I pressed him on revealing his sources, he pleaded the fifth quoting deep throat. It then occurred to me I had recently added a family friend – had he talked to her? No, he was quick to point out that he hadn’t talked to her for months. Hmm. He handed the phone off to my mom who quickly outed him – yes, the family friend was his source but she had told my brother who in turn told my dad. The gossip chain often runs through my brother BTW.
And what about my friend who within MINUTES of breaking up with her boyfriend, changed her FAcebook status from “in a relationship” to “single”? What compels us to air our dirty laundry, our triumphs and our odd habits on Facebook? Ask yourself how many odd facts you know about friends through their status changes? And when you see the friend who wrote that he just ate at Omaha Jack’s in Rancho, do you mention it?
Here are some info gleaned from my friends’ status:
One of my friends is showing his daughter how to eat snow and lick icicles, another is falling asleep in class, especially clever, another friend is wishing “a certain someone” was here with her to enjoy the rain (hmm, who is she talking about me?), someone else is thinking about going to Old Navy, and perhaps my favorite simply stating Neil Diamond is the man which was updated by this friends’ phone.
5 comments:
Even worse are those who use Twitter.
The mostly insane, useless info they put on there is so much a waste. Is this the type of info their "followers" want or need to know??
The medium has potential but it's messengers...I dunno.
I announce all kinds of things though my facebook status update: from "Jeffrey's date canceled on him for tonight" to letting my friends know things I find out before anyone like the other day when my professor walked in with letter he had just got from Business Week: "Jeffrey just learned that the BYU Marketing MBA program is ranked number 11 in the country by Business Week."
I might be little overboard but my brothers and I created a facebook app that turns you facebook status updates into t-shirts. It is called Status King. That is right you can now wear your status on a t-shirt.
As someone who was alluded to in this post (thanks for not totally calling me out!), here is my comment on status updates:
1) Everyone has a desire to be known (and we're all narcissistic enough to think that everyone wants to know us). That is why we have facebook, myspace, blogs, etc. Call it a false sense of intimacy or call it intimacy of the new millennium.
2) In a world of varying shades of gray when it comes to relationship status, facebook is a way to make things black and white. Either you're "in a relationship" or you're "single." There's no status called: "went on a couple dates and kissed, but we haven't had the conversation yet to determine if we are officially dating." Facebook forces the question. And call me lame, but the topic of "should we put 'in a relationship' on facebook, or myspace" has been part of the determining the relationship talk in my last three relationships. And, although embarrassing to admit, it makes me a little happy when the guy puts "in a relationship" after the exclusivity talk. Then I know it's for real because he just announced it to everyone.
3) On the other end, changing status from "in a relationship" to "single" and other official status changes updates like "I got a job" or "I'm going on vacation" is a way to make things real for yourself. Again, announcing it to everyone is a way of affirming your reality.
4) Sometimes it's hard to catch up on every detail of a long lost friend's life. But you can have a small conversation about the fact that they "just watched Slumdog Millionaire and loved it" It makes it easier to catch up with people. It puts it in bite size pieces.
How's, "In a relationship & single (not married)."
Hey, this guy stole your idea to write an op-ed about facebook.
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-stein13-2009feb13,0,2753621.column?page=1
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