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Day 69 -- leaving the 9%

As my unemployment rounds out to what will once I start my job 70 total days of unemployment, I would like to highlight a few aspects of this journey:

For starters, I believe adjusting to working full time again next week will be a bit like a reluctant kid going back to school after summer vacation.  I am in for a rude awakening.  But I have certainly enjoyed what I am thinking of as a bit of a sabbatical and the larger concept of soul care.  Life isn’t about producing or doing but instead being.  My therapist and most of my friends have commented that it was like a load was lifted from me when I quit my job.   And not to get into the specifics of why I abruptly quit my old job, I will say I faced with a situation that were I to have stayed would have both been compromising my personal integrity and my healthy sense of self.  I did the right thing. 

Save money.  This whole journey wouldn’t have been possible if I hadn’t saved up a fair bit of money.   And now that I am starting a job with direct deposit (something I haven’t had in years) I am going to immediately route a fair percentage into rebuilding my next egg.  Along the same lines,  the simple concept of living within one’s means has been driven home to me over the past seventy days.  I think our consumer culture ought to generally take that advice. 

Cable news programs basically loop the same stories over and over again throughout the day.  I mentioned previously that at the sort of low point of my journey, I had taken to playing Tetris for hours on end and watching mainly CNN.  What I discovered is firstly, neither of those things are very life-giving but in truth if you watch one hour of cable news you have seen the equivalent of five save for breaking news.  And as John Stewart pointed out that since the inauguration breaking news is not Barack Obama likes guacamole or that he took off his jacket while sitting at his desk in the Oval Office.  Worse yet, cable news stories these days seem to be sensationalizing our troubled economy focusing a bit too much for an unemployed person’s peace of mind on growing unemployment rates.  In the seventy days of my unemployment I was fortunate to be able to watch OJ get imprisoned, many college football games, the plane crash on the Hudson and of course the inauguration of our 44^th President. 

I heart my new library card.  Somewhere along the way, I got a library card and began using it like mad.  Years ago, when I lived in Tucson, I was very into going to the library but inexplicably stopped.  Pasadena has a wonderful library system and I have already read and checked out an amazing array of books. 

Lucky Baldwin’s Christmas Beer Festival.  I certainly became a regular at Lucky’s and am proud to be on a first name basis with a few of the bartenders.  I did carry around the glass special for most of the month. 

Start a project.  For me that project was this blog specifically chosen so I would not only have a daily sort of deadline (admittedly I missed a few times) but also because I wanted to hone my love for writing on a more consistent basis.  As a side development, I was happy to incorporate my growing love for photography as the sort of icing on the cake.  I also have very much enjoyed discovering a blogging community – some friends in other parts in the world, others in other parts of the county and some very new who have welcomed me into the local blogging community. 

 

And a new era means a new blog…should be up and running soon, enjoy!

http://likenarniainpasadena.blogspot.com/

day 68 -- Facebook Status Updates

Earlier this week I got my haircut.  Aside from the normal excitement with a new style and color, I was also excited to catch up on my hairstylist’s life.  It turns out my hair stylist happens to be a periphery friend and as such we are also Facebook Friends.  I was very surprised last week when her Facebook status changed from “single” to “in a relationship.”  Of course, during my appointment I got the whole scoop on her new beau but I couldn’t help but wonder (sorry to be so Kerry Bradshaw) about this dynamic of social networking sites.  Is this the new way we communicate major details of our lives to our friend groups? 

For example, last week I was very surprised when my father called me to ask about my new job.  I hadn’t shared the specifics or even the simple news that I in fact had a new job to anyone in my family.  Mind you the story was not even ONE DAY OLD.  But I had changed my status to read, “Jennifer has a new job” or something to that effect.  Of course my dad who calls using the internet “surfing the net” has neither a Facebook account nor even the knowledge of how to navigate a webpage, couldn’t have found out that way.  When I pressed him on revealing his sources, he pleaded the fifth quoting deep throat.  It then occurred to me I had recently added a family friend – had he talked to her?  No, he was quick to point out that he hadn’t talked to her for months.  Hmm.  He handed the phone off to my mom who quickly outed him – yes, the family friend was his source but she had told my brother who in turn told my dad.  The gossip chain often runs through my brother BTW. 

And what about my friend who within MINUTES of breaking up with her boyfriend, changed her FAcebook status from “in a relationship” to “single”?  What compels us to air our dirty laundry, our triumphs and our odd habits on Facebook?  Ask yourself how many odd facts you know about friends through their status changes?  And when you see the friend who wrote that he just ate at Omaha Jack’s in Rancho, do you mention it? 

Here are some info gleaned from my friends’ status:

One of my friends is showing his daughter how to eat snow and lick icicles, another is falling asleep in class, especially clever, another friend is wishing “a certain someone” was here with her to enjoy the rain (hmm, who is she talking about me?), someone else is thinking about going to Old Navy, and perhaps my favorite simply stating Neil Diamond is the man which was updated by this friends’ phone.  

day 66 -- It is Finished, part II, before and after

I am admittedly not very savy with the pictures on blogspot.  but here are some before and after pictures.  

Day 66 -- It is Finished, part I

Now that there is an official end date to my unemployment I have begun making a project list of things I hope to finish before I go back to work. Some of them are very pragmatic – on-line traffic school, getting a hair cut (if you can believe it I have not got my hair cut since May of last year) and so forth. 

One project I have already blogged about

Day 29

remains a work in progress – cleaning out my enormous closet and my room in general.  I finished the clothes and shoe section right

after the new year in time for the clothing exchange my friends and I held.  And on a related note, I have broken my clothing fast something I have meant to blog about ever since – soon, I will get to that. 

Over the weekend, as I was sore and tired from skiing and generally felt like hanging around the house, I tackled the remaining parts of the room and closet project. 

I found journals dating back to 1991; I have neither the heart to throw them out or am in the head space to read them so I have decided to save them. 

I found souvenirs purchased from trips I took well over ten years ago most of which I have decided to throw out. 

I found things people leant me I thought I lost; I text one friend saying I finally found that item I borrowed three years ago, do you still want it back?  Yes, good it gives us an excuse to hang out. 

CD’s – now that I have an iPod, should I throw them out? 

I cleaned out my collection of books getting rid of books I never read (who was I trying to impress anyway keeping them on my shelves?) – two boxes worth and still counting. 

Course work from grad school. 

Paraphernalia from a job I held in 1998, why I had kept it so long is beyond me. 

A picture with a bunch of kids I used to work with one of whom died a few years ago. 

Cards and letters dating back to my freshman year of college.  CRAZY. 

My social security card

I am officially done with my room.  I polished off an entire roll of trash bags and not the kitchen kind but the industrial-sized blue ones that were incidentally contraband from my own job. 

Roll of trash bags = $10

Used book credit at Archives = $18

Cathartic value of completion of project = priceless

http://unemployedinpasadena.blogspot.com/2008/12/day-29-catharsis.html

Sting like a Bee – Day 65

In an attempt to curtail my internet use, I have tried to make a list of the items I need to do online (emails, posting the blog, etc) hoping to stick to that list instead of playing yet another game of Tetris or perusing my friends’ pages on Facebook when I go online.  Indeed, the internet is a time sucker and I suppose as a nod to my Protestant-Midwestern world view/work ethic (and yes, despite having lived most of life in the San Gabriel Valley, I consider myself to be Midwestern – a topic I might tackle in another entry sometime when I am desperate for material) or simply that subtle voice in the back of my head often sounding not dissimilar to my father that I ought to be making something of my life.  Really, at the end of my life do I want my obituary to focus on my extraordinary ability to play Tetris?  (Although, I wouldn’t mind if it was a side theme to be included with my crossword puzzling, parallel parking and failed attempt to get on Jeopardy – after all there has to be a bit of the agony of defeat in the story, right?)

To that effect, last night my carefully laid plan was immediately hijacked when I “ran” into three people on Facebook at the same time as me.  The last was a dear friend who I recently reconnected with, the first was the husband of my cousin who is very fun and it was because of him I became friends with my other cousin – who I will call Ryan.  Ryan is twenty-four years old and lives in rural Indiana along with all of my mother’s relatives.  He is part of the subgroup of cousins I collective refer to as my little cousins in that they are the children of my first cousins the oldest of which is actually older than me.  My mother has a nephew, my first cousin, who is only eight years younger than her and as I am the absolute youngest grandchild, my little cousins are in many ways more my peers than their parents. 

But back to Ryan.  Ryan’s grandparents (my aunt and uncles) hosted a big family reunion when I was twelve or thirteen years old.  At the time, Ryan was toe headed toddler who I pushed around in a wagon to his delight.  While pushing him around, I stepped on a bee and was subsequently stung ending the wagon ride and causing little Ryan to throw a bit of a fit.  I shared the story with him a few years ago at my aunt’s funeral – of course he didn’t remember – but he seemed to like hearing a little bit about his life when he was too young to remember. 

Last night, I was happy to fill in some of the gaps between the toe headed toddler and the young man he has become.  I found out he owns and runs a candle store.  He also is very into training and raising exotic animals hoping to take his experience with domestic animals (Ryan like most of my family grew up on a farm) and parlay it into a side career.  I imagined exotic animals to be things like alligators and snakes, which I suppose is true, but they are also things like camels and zebras both of which he has.  In fact, at another of my little cousins’ birthday parties over the summer he brought the camel for the kids to ride on and it was a big hit. Last night I discovered my little cousin has become a candle shop owner/exotic animal trainer and I couldn’t be more proud.  He is hoping to visit sometime soon and wants me to set him up with one of my friends – any takers? 

As a brief postscript and explanation for the photo, earlier in the day, I hung out at the Huntington Gardens where I took a bunch of pictures of bees pollinating flowers.  I am amazed by all of our modern technology; we are still dependent on the bee.  Double postscript – right now the Huntington Gardens has beautifully hung red Chinese lanterns in honor of Chinese New Year.  

Day 64 - Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress

 In honor of the Year of the Ox: A Review of Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress by Dai Sijie

I began the book on Monday and finished on Wednesday – it was that good my friends (disclaimer: I have lots of free time on my hands).  I was hoping the book would be the pick for my February book club but my friends opted for Snowflower and the Secret Fan. Obviously, we were going with a Chinese theme but the two books couldn’t have been more dissimilar.  Even if you care very little for Chinese culture or literature, I believe the story appeals more as a coming of age story than a culture investigation per se whereas Snow Flower and the Secret Fan is very rooted in Chinese culture. 

Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress tells the story of two teenaged friends all but marooned in a remote mountain village in China for the communist government’s reeducation in the mid-seventies.  In the process, the two main characters become the darlings of the village – city boys who in many ways do their own reeducating of the reformed opium farmers and their kinfolks vis-a-vi their alarm clock, violin and uncanny story telling ability.  They meet the title’s little Chinese seamstress – whom they both fall in love with in their own way reminiscent to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid’s respective love for teacher lady Etta Place.  Along the way, they also acquire a suitcase full of western literature which serves as a sort of currency in their struggle to become the intellectual and sophisticated sorts their parents are.  

Certainly, unemployment lends itself to lots of reading.  In addition to Balzac, I have read the following books during unemployment:  The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb,  What is the What by Dave Eggers, Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See and The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chboski.  And today, i started reading Rain of Gold by Victor Villasenor.  

Day 63 Trader Joe’s Cashiers

I have a friend; let’s call him Rob, who is a cashier at Trader Joes.  Rob and I went to both graduate school and undergrad although we only met in the former.  We are periphery friends – we had a close mutual friend and there was a season where we hung out fairly frequently.  However, once the mutual friend moved away our connection ebbed. 

However, we do see each other occasionally at Trader Joes.  If I see that Rob is working, I will always get in his line, even it is the longest.  These check outs are the only times we catch up on one another’s life.  We have talked about voting (I came in on election day and he asked me how I voted on prop 8), jobs or in my case lack thereof, him trying to get into law school, Lucky Baldwin’s, who is still around from the old days,  but always in the few minutes it takes for him to ring me up. 

Last night, I waited in his line, like always, and he was quick to say that he was in a foul mood as he had just been rejected from yet another law school.  I told him it is because he needs to start applying to local law schools instead of ones on the eastern seaboard.  I also encouraged him with my story of getting turned down when I applied to wait tables – I mean really what is worse law school or a humble anonymous establishment in Old Town?  I told him about my new job while punching in my PIN number.  As he was handing me my receipt, he told me the flowers were on the house.  How nice is that and after all it is not everyday someone buys me flowers, right? 

A few years back at another Trader Joes I had gone to right after working out the cashier did the same.  This time, I had never met the guy but after having shared that I was in a bit of a sad mood for whatever reason he handed me a bouquet of flowers again on the house to cheer me up. 

I must confess one of my first real first date was with a grocery store cashier (Alpha Beta circa 1991) who did bring me flowers a few different times.  Perhaps I have a way with men at the grocery store?  

Day 62 -- Glory Days

First confession, I did not post yesterday as I was in Big Bear skiing for the first time since 2002 (.  But missing two days in the last two months is still a blogging pace I am very proud of and not sure I can keep when my new job starts. 

My older brother taught me to ski when I was a child and it is a bit like riding a bicycle – you never really forget.  In college, some other friends and I often went skiing.  Back in the day, I considered myself an above average skier routinely handling black diamonds and blue runs. 

Fast forward to yesterday where I faced head on the true fact that my glory days of skiing were well behind me.  I went with three other friends, one of whom was a very aggressive and adventurous skier (incidentally a marine about to be deployed so I hoped all day he would break a leg).  I kept up with them for a while but when they drug me on a black diamond run, I realized it was far more work than fun.  At that point we parted ways for a bit. 

I confess, I skied on the bunny slopes for a bit to reacclimate myself with the sport.  After lunch, I hung with my snowboarding friend on some blue runs (pathetically, we actually skied the same run over and over for a few hours).  I kept up OK with her until we met up with the rest of our foursome at which time my lower ski level was painfully apparent. 

On the plus side, I never fell the whole day.  Well, I fell once but it was embarrassingly getting onto the ski lift.  In my defense my friend and were sort of between the chairs and she decided to pull back.  I couldn’t really make in time and the chair knocked me over.  They had to stop the whole lift which I don’t even think happened to me when I was a little kid skiing. 

So now, I can relate to the Bruce Springsteen song “Glory Days,” except instead of a failed baseball career for me it will be my lost ski prowess.  Oh how I wanted to call my friends from college who I used to go skiing with so they could testify to my “Glory Days.”  Second Confession:  I thought the song “Glory Days” was John Cougar Mellencamp I’ve always mixed those two up for some reason.  

day 60 -- ode to the yellow owl shirt

My favorite shirt is yellow with brown and turquoise owls all over it.  I don’t think I am very well suited to wear yellow but still I don it with much love – seasonally as it is long sleeved thermal material (is there a more appropriate term for thermal material? I am too lazy to look it up).  I also wear it to every USC game and the owls have only seen the Trojans lose once (Stanford, 2007).  Yesterday, I was especially happy when a sixth grader complimented my beloved owl shirt. 

I used to have khaki pants with embroidered green turtles all over them, I unfortunately out grew them (or perhaps they shrunk?) but I regret very much I was never able to wear them together as I believe the owls and the turtles would have been friends.  

day 59 -- film shoots

Today my dear friend and I did what many tourists and TV addicts might dream of; we hung around a film shoot for close to an hour.  Earlier in the week (at my therapist’s office of all places) I found out there was a Wednesday shoot for the TV show “Brothers and Sisters” which I happen to watch.  One of the many perks of being unemployed, I decided to go take in the craziness for as long as I could stand.  Granted, I have lived most of my life in Southern California and this is the first time I have intentionally done this.  However, having worked in downtown LA and living in Pasadena, I have certainly been around the hustle and bustle of a film crew on a few occasions.  A guy I used to work with who is absolutely crazy used to routinely sneak into film shoot to steal food.  If today is any barometer for the scope/amount of people needed to pull off even a seemingly short shot, I am sure it was very easy to blend in for my old co-worker. 

The shoot was on Oakland between Green Street and Colorado.  We lunched around the corner at the School House Café which is a great little venue I completely recommend.  (It is the affordable section of the Culinary Institute’s restaurant – gourmet food at a fraction of the cost of the fancy restaurant side).  After a leisurely lunch, we strolled around the corner to take in the film shoot.  There were police offices, security guards, a legion of attractive and nicely dressed extras, scores of extra vehicles, all sorts of crazy lights, and even a few port-a-potties and yes, we were just lucky enough to see a short scene being shot catching glimpses of regular cast members.  In fact, my friend rightly identified Smith from “Sex and the City” who’s part was very racy to say the least as it involved him kissing another guy (also a bit of a scoop as that character, Kevin if you follow the show, has a committed partner). 

From my short window into The Industry, I can safely say it all seemed very unglamorous – much standing around for a less than ten minute scene.  I know these Hollywood types get paid big bucks but as I understood it the shot lasted well into the evening, long hours any way you slice it.   And so very boring – if it took all of this hoopla to shoot just a few minutes of the show, they must be doing these types of hours all of the time.  No thank you.  

day 58 -- yipee!!!!!!

So yes, we have an official end date to my unemployment: February 8^th as I start my new job on February 9^th.  I have accepted a position coordinating, developing and launching a mentoring and after-school program.  The job will require much initiative and independence which I think is a good fit for me.  As well, my previous experience directing an after-school program will come in handy as I am basically building a new program from scratch.  I believe I will continue blogging but have to perhaps rename my blog. 

The good news is that the remaining days will be much more fun as it suddenly feels like a weight has been lifted and I don’t have to be so cautious about how I choose to spend them.  Yippee! 

Day 57 -- boredom and guitar hero

Today I was very bored.  Fortunately, two of my friends were also free and we had an ad hoc edition of our fun day escapades.  The trouble was even with the three of us available and most of the day ahead of us – we couldn’t think of anything fun to do.  Sure, we had constraints – the cold weather, the lack of funding and one friend’s need to finish his laundry but still.  Are we (A) spending so much time together we can’t see outside of our normal routine?  Are we (B) completely unoriginal we only do the same things over and over again?  Or are we (C) in a rut? 

We ended up getting coffee, renting and watching a movie (In Bruges) and playing a few rounds of Guitar Hero. 

I just Googled ennui – general lack of interest or boredom, or depression; it may also refer to: oppressive boredom.  Only someone excessively bored would do that.  Does anyone have suggestions of inexpensive, weather proof activities for future fun days with my friends?  For example, today was Chinese New Year’s so we could have taken the Gold Line into Chinatown to soak up some of the festivities.  If only I would have thought of that at noon. 

And sorry to say no Guatemala but never fear I will be going to Mexico in a few weeks job or no job which I should know TOMORROW.  

Day 56 – Guatemala

Tonight I went over to a friends’ house where another guest, who I will call Juan, was booking a flight to Guatemala.  I visited with my friends not paying much attention to the specifics of Juan’s travels.  Juan finished his business and we were off to dinner.  He told us his flight left at 11:34.  Tomorrow, we asked.  No, tonight.  You can’t go to dinner with us, you’ve got to go pack and get to the airport.  He paused to consider and opted to not join us for dinner.   

We lingered for a bit longer and I said something flippant to the effect, I want to go to Guatemala.  Well let’s go upstairs and book you a flight, Juan suggested.  How long are you staying?  Juan’s travel plans revolve around his brother’s tennis schedule.  This trip was no exception, he was in fact only going to stay for two days if his brother lost.  If, however his brother wins, John will stay most of next week. 

Hmmm, when is his first match?  Tomorrow at 10AM.  So you will know by midday if you will leave Tuesday or later in the week.  Yes.  Hmmm, I do have an appointment to take an exam for a position at Pasadena Unified School District tomorrow and the final (I hope) interview for the job I will most likely take Tuesday morning.  So, Juan interjected, you could make the 1pm flight Tuesday and join my family in Guatemala.  He listed off many specific things we could do as he has traveled there many times.  He also said he was staying in a 5 star hotel.  He said I could book a flight for under $300. 

Mind you, in spite of my unemployment, I do have a number of “commitments” scheduled for this week but when else in my life will I have a chance to fly off to Guatemala at a moment’s notice?  So if Juan’s brother wins his match tomorrow, I might do just that

Day 55 -- Reunited and it feels so good (?)

When I was in High School (and a few years after) I worked at a camp.  Without question, some of my most fun memories come from the small, humble mountain setting where among others things I made amazing friends.  However dear all of these friends were, somewhere along the way we lost touch. There wasn’t anything conflictual – I chalk it up mainly to moving to Arizona for my desert wanderings chapter.  And it wasn’t that I forgot the friends, but this was the pre-cell phone pre email era where keeping up on the lives of contacts was a different ballgame than it is today. 

Flash forward to creating a Facebook account and you can guess what has happened – yes many of those dear friends have once again become “friends” in a wildly different venue.  Some have scattered, some have married, some have divorced, some have come out, some have grown up, some have successful careers, some are unemployed and some have not joined.  Tonight, a handful of us who are still local are having a reunion.  I am very curious about how this will go. 

There is a cynical part of me who sort of thinks if we drifted apart all those years ago, maybe there is something to that.  Do we exchange more specific contact info feigning we will stay in touch but the truth is aside from cordial FB posts we will never see one another? Is it possible, to rekindle relationships that were admittedly dear to me in the nineties? I have had great success with high school/childhood friends in this capacity, so perhaps. 

The other very strange dynamic with this meeting is we have in fact missed out on large portions of one another’ lives, how do we just gloss over that?  For example, one friend who found me on FB when I asked for an update wrote a mini paragraph on my wall that walked me through not only her divorce but her child dying.  I was saddened I couldn’t have somehow supported her through these terrible losses but doubly saddened she shared something so painful in a way that felt very impersonal.  Certainly there will be others tonight who maybe haven’t had children die but have experienced the death of a parent, a terrible health problem or something else I would have no idea of.  How do we catch up on those stories? 

Another very certain aspect of tonight will be those I have forgotten. I have received a few friend requests of people I just can’t place but I know I tonight will hang with people who remembered me but who I have forgotten.  I am a jerk but my memory isn’t what it used to be. 

And finally, I really hope we don’t only go down memory lane.  Yes, I can expect recreation of memories stored so deep in the annals of my soul; I will need probing and a glass or two of wine to remember.  The truth is this whole era is somewhat of a blur – not a lot of specifics but many generals (if that makes sense).  But I’d really like to hear from folks what they are doing now. I don’t want to only remember who we used to be but be able to meet the people we have become.  

Day 54 -- update on job interview

The good news is it looks like I have a job (although, until I am filling out payroll paperwork I won’t count on it or believe it).  The bad news is the interview was fairly unprofessional causing me to have second thoughts.  Quick synopsis – this was interview number four and the primary reason for the delay was waiting for me to be able to interview with a new administrator in the organization who was touted as professional.  A few interesting things from the interview that demonstrated the administrator’s lack of professionalism:

(1) He asked me about my marital status and happiness related to that – the good news is that before I could answer, he went on to compare me to his single brother who he wrongly assumed to much older to me (in truth I was older than he although I took it as a compliment that he reversed our true age) and allegedly very content as a single person.  I am pretty sure asking somewhat about their marital status in an interview is illegal. 

(2) There were a number of items that he and the other woman in the interview who at this point I had met with THREE times weren’t on the same page about and it was somewhat uncomfortable to be in the room for them to discover the discrepancies.  For example – he broke from the standard interview form to ask her, “So we’ve done a background check on Jennifer, right.”  Awkward pause, “No,” she replies somewhat defeated.  There were a few other examples of things that he assumed she had covered that in the course of out meeting he discovered hadn’t.  Toward the end, Mr. Professional/Administrator said to the woman who is to be my boss (I think?), could we have a few minutes together after Jennifer leaves.  It felt like to me she got in trouble. Again, unnecessary to happen in front of me the interviewee. 

(3) Interruptions.  On two different occasions there were knocks on two doors both of which he answered. The first was a co-worker (who seemed to be perhaps the IT guy) who brought in some sort of smart phone/Blackberry giving him a diagnosis.  But after Mr. IT guy left, the administrator said he was not used to being interrupted in a meeting.  I am thinking – well, why did you answer the door?  But the woman launched into a bit of a jab at the IT guy.  The second knock on the door was his single brother.  Thankfully, there was no fix-up/introduction but he scrambled to find the door stop to which we suggested, just use the deadbolt.  “Oh…good idea.”  Very professional. 

He was quick to comment on my leadership ability (based mainly on the one question he asked me I suppose) predicted in the near future I would be a consultant for multiple organizations in multiple states.  Hmmm.  

day 53 -- fishy

Some months ago I inherited exactly one red beta fish who I affectionately refer to as “Fishy.”  Fishy’s real caretaker was a (former) co-worker of mine whose relocation to Wisconsin pragmatically couldn’t include Fishy.  Fishy has already more than outlived the average lifespan for a beta fish and not to be sadistic but almost daily I expect to find Fishy dead.  There was a very long stint when Fishy seemed to be somewhat lethargic and sickly but recently he has resurged.  He is more active in his little bowl and his appetite has returned whereas before he just sort of floated, barely moving and when I fed him he just watched the little flakes I dropped in his bowl fall into the rocks.  He hates it when I clean his bowl/give him a bath – it is obviously very agitating for him when he has is confined to the little cup my friend gave me for the explicit purpose of storing him when his bowl is cleaned. 

Admittedly, Fishy and I are unlikely companions but I believe there to be a kinship between us.  When I am near his bowl he often makes eye-contact with me and I have no doubt he knows me.  in the lonely journey of unemployment, I am grateful for the company and I admit in the very likely event Fishy passes in the next few months, I will be very sad.  Not sad enough, however, to get another fish.  I guess I am just a one fish woman.  

Day 52 – Letters of Reference

I am in the process of applying for an international humanitarian aid organization which requires professional references (and don’t worry it based here in LA).  While although this isn’t terribly unexpected, I had to dig up old supervisor and ask the question would you be a reference.  I realize this is a formality and in most cases most agencies don’t even check (or require references) but as someone was not informed they had been listed as a reference and got an out of the blue phone call, it is certainly good form to get the OK before one gives out another’s information. 

Save for one job, for the most part I have left on good terms with all of my old employers, so I certainly didn’t expect anyone to say no.  But what I didn’t expect was the very affirming words I received from former employers.  Here is a quote from an old boss –

“I would be happy to be a reference for you. We think you are fabulous! I wish I had an opening for you.”

The others were just as glowing, one in particular who has relocated to Colorado, often tries to get me to work for him. Just when I thought I was un-hirable and un-marketable.  The other news to report is that in the new era of Hope and Change, I have a fourth interview with an agency I am very hopeful about tomorrow.  And I heard back from Pasadena Unified School District (who I am told is notorious about taking forever to get back to people) and have an appointment Monday for a position in their after-school program.  

Day 51 -- Photographer/Vice President Joe Biden

Are my friends and I the only ones who noticed dear little Malia Obama snapping pictures like mad on the podium while her father took the oath of office?  At one point, I am quite certain she even handed off the camera to, of all people, Vice President Joe Biden presumably because he had a better vantage point to whatever it was she was trying to capture.  Still, Malia, checked his work before releasing him from his assignment. 

It is curious how we Americans are captivated by the Obama girls.  Sure we have had the Bush twins for eight years and Chelsea Clinton before them, but Sasha and Malia somehow make Barack Obama more three-dimensional and also force us to reexamine the bizarre journey it would be to be the child of the Commander in Chief.  To that end, the Bush twins wrote an open letter to the new first daughters in today’s Wall Street Journal on precisely that experience.  I couldn’t help but wonder if there was another person on the podium who was equally the child of a President who might tell the girls a different sort of story.

Of course, the outgoing President was an adult when his father, George H. W. Bush was President, but I believe his life was no less punctuated by his father’s residence in the White House than those who lived there during their formative years.  Some might argue his entire candidacy was nothing more than a prodigal son’s attempt to please his father.  Perhaps.  In the end, as George W. Bush faded out of Washington D.C. with much ceremonial pomp and circumstance, he was his father’s son.  Boarding the helicopter just before the outgoing president were his parents and I wonder if he might be more like the camera wielding Malia than we suspect.

Day 50 – French toast, Barack Obama and MLK

On this Inauguration Eve (which I don’t remember in 2001 when W took office), I have all day been thinking so much of both Barack Obama and Martin Luther King.  It could have something to do with the non-stop party going on in our nation’s capital and the ubiquitous media coverage that has been zooming in on January 20^th since Election Day.  I am hosting my own dreadfully early Inaugural Party of sorts complete with French toast casserole, sausage and coffee.  Be it another era, there might have been mimosas but even in the land of unemployment, drinking at 8AM on a week day seems dysfunction and very fattening.  Also, the humble group attending my party will be working from “home”/my house tomorrow. 

Tonight Larry King asked Martin Luther King III, among others,  the question, which has been and will continue to be asked in the waning moments before the Inauguration and I’d love to hear what others think, if he thought Barack Obama’s presidency is the fulfillment or realization of Martin Luther King Jr’s dream?  He said an aspect of the dream but there was still much to overcome.  Citing the continued prevalence of what his father called the triple evils of racism, poverty and militarism all of which are still at epidemic levels in our society.

I tend to agree, the poverty line, in our country is still in many ways tragically black and white. Worse yet, a black boy born in 2001 has a 1 in 3 chance of going to prison in his lifetime; a Latino boy a 1 in 6 chance; and a white boy a 1 in 17 chance (From Children’s Defense Fund 2007 study, American Prison to Pipeline Crisis).  Certainly these two things – poverty and crime – are very connected to educational and might be worse for those of us living in LA County than anywhere else in the US. 

Quickly, a quote of a radical Christian thinker I admire very much which I think are applicable for all people regardless of their faith and at the heart of the aspects of MLK’s dream still unmet : 

“I believe that the great tragedy of the church is not that rich Christians do not care about the poor, but that they do not know the poor.” – Shane Claiborne, “Downward Mobility in an Upscale World” http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/newmonastics/claiborne_downwardmobility.shtml

The hard work starts Wednesday, right?  

Day 49 -- Churches and Money

I go to church most every Sunday.  Not meaning to be preachy or self-righteous, I believe there is something good for my soul and helps me remember why I am a Christian by showing up at the specific building/church I am a member of.  This Sunday morning, however, I had a scheduling conflict (which ended up being absolutely wonderful for those of you who were also there) preventing me from going to my normal church at my normal time. Instead, I went with a friend to her church which I think is an important thing for us Christians to do from time to time.  Mind you, it’s not like I’m going to compare necessarily – I try very hard to silence the voice in my head prone to say things like “My church does…better,” “Or this church is way better at…” either thing can be very damaging in the same way there would be little or no good coming from a married person pursuing e-harmony to compare his or her respective spouse against current models. 

The topic at this undisclosed church, which I know will make most people nauseous as it is perhaps one of the most stereotypically unpopular topics at not only churches but in most circles, was MONEY.  The pastor handled the message well which I believe for the most part has been the case in my tenure year of church attendance.  I might very well be the one person who thinks it is an appropriate thing to cover from time to time.  He really didn’t, for those of you who the thought of a pastor talking about money is immediately repulsive, cover the whole give more money vane.  He shared his church was in the black (that is the good color to be in terms of balance sheets, right?) ending 2008 slightly ahead.  Something he claimed, and I believe him, was unheard of for churches these days. 

Instead his point was more along the lines of simply living within one’s means which I think is a very apt message given the current financial crisis our nation is finding itself in.  One might argue the heart of the problems we are in come precisely from societal indulgences and the lack of discretion (I recognize I am oversimplifying). Certainly, as individuals facing great financial uncertainty, a proverbial dose of tighten the purse strings couldn’t hurt.  He rattled off a statistic something to the effect that the average percent of personal savings in America in 1960 was 7% whereas today it is -2%.  Yes, we collectively spend more than we make a trend it doesn’t take an economist to recognize will end up in disaster. 

Why is this?  Have we become mindless lemmings who believe our sole worth to be nothing more than what we consume?  Do we so desperately want to chase after the American dream (or whatever other dream we are seeking) we have to buy things to convince ourselves how good life is?  Does life have no other purpose than spending money?  What can be said for altruism, virtue and at the very least the integrity of living within one’s means?  Or in global terms – what about stewardship?  Are we spending our inordinate amount of the world’s wealth at Pottery Barn?  Mind you the pastor didn’t go as far as I am taking it – his main point was live simply and within your means

Day 48 – The Book Club

Last year some girlfriends and I began a book club.  I am very proud it has held together and as of this weekend’s upcoming meeting, we will be going into year two.  We try to read the book in approximately a month and then meet together for faire matching the book (although a few times we have done take out).  For example, our most recent book is Dave Eggers’ What is the What, the story of one of the Sudanese Lost Boys, and as there is not really Sudanese food per se in the greater Los Angeles area, we will have Ethiopian food as a bit of a comprise as part of the book takes place in Ethiopia. 

Here is a list of books we have covered with my ranking in parenthesis:   

Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson (7)

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert (5)

Love in the Time of Cholera, Gabriel Garcia Marquez (2)

Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri (9)

I Know why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou (3)

Middlesex, by Jeffery Eugenides (9.5)

The Inheritance of Loss, by Kiran Desai (7)

What is the What, by Dave Eggers (8)

 

For the most part, we have favored books with an international/multi-cultural theme.  As well, the favorites have been fiction.  We also have the unofficial agreement to choose a book none of us have previously read.  That being said, I wonder if anyone has recommendations for us to read for February?  We have read three Indian books (The Inheritance of Loss & The Unaccustomed Earth and kind of Eat, Pray, Love) so I think we can safely rule out another Indian book (even though there are many good choices out there). I have suggested, in honor of Barack Obama’s presidency and African-American history month, to read another story dealing with African-American narratives.  Or as we really haven’t covered Asia save for the Indian subcontinent, it might be good to read an Asian story (many of us have read Memoirs of a Geisha and The Good Earth).   Any ideas?  

Day 47 -- The Job Search

My interview this morning did not go well – I would be shocked if I were offered the job.  For starters, I was expecting to be interviewed by a very specific person who a friend had briefed me on.  Instead, the co-owner of the restaurant, a somewhat gruff woman I’d guess to be in her late forties conducted the forty-five minute ordeal barely making an eye contact.  We ended up talking about homelessness for a long time as well as her point blank asking me what theology was.  Not a good sign for someone with a theology degree.  She did seem impressed with my knowledge of the product/restaurant faire but was quick to remind me she had a stack of applications to get through.  I believe this to be code for don’t hold your breath.   I also believe she quite rightly surmised me to be someone wanting to wait tables until something better came along. 

In forty-seven days, I have applied for twelve different jobs only hearing back from three.  Today was my second interview and I have a third (follow-up) one pending which has unfortunately been pending for one month.  There again, I am neither holding my breath nor putting all of my eggs in that basket.  I know these percentages aren’t as discouraging as I am making them out to be – I know I need to increase the amount of jobs I apply for and expect delays in responses.  But I feel very cynical about sending out yet another cut and pasted draft of my cover letter and résumé to some person whose in box is likely filled with people are in fact “uniquely qualified for position…” as my cover letter asserts. 

On a lighter note, yesterday I met former Arizona Wildcat Luke Walton (I hear he plays for the Lakers these days).  And Mark Sanchez if you want to leave USC early it is perhaps divine retribution you will likely end up in – DETROIT.  Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.   Also, I am proud to report I am now third in Tetris (my newest addiction) among my friends on Facebook.   Perhaps, with some diligence and persistence I can work my way up to #1 sometime soon. Dare to Dream.