Self-Disclosure – Day 41

It is a very strange juxtaposition that I have created this very public window into my unemployment while I haven’t been 100% forthcoming with the members of my immediate family about not working.  The truth is I haven’t told them anything close to the truth.  I have made the concession to admit I am job hunting (which I am, right?) but left out the very conspicuous detail that I quit my job on 12.1.08.   

If anyone in my family was online at all, there might be some legitimate concern they would stumble across my blog.  Rest assured I have it on good authority no member of my immediate family has the foggiest concept of what a blog is in the first place.  There is also the possibility some of my readers might in fact know members of my family – hence this entry.  For the most part, those who I know who know my family members I have sworn to secrecy.  I think I am willing to roll the dice that an acquaintance might (A) discover my blog and (B) have the presence of mind to bring it up to my family. 

However, I can’t help but wonder why I am able to be completely candid in this venue where total strangers know more about my life than my family of origin.  Am I avoiding the righteous judgment they might heap on me if they knew I had been out of a job for close to six weeks at this point?  Would I get a barrage of advice regarding what types of jobs I should be applying for? Would they judge me for actively trying to wait tables?  Am I stifling my bona fide adulthood by not having the wherewithal to withstand these angles?  Perhaps. 

What about the flipside – what value comes from being brutally honest in such a public arena?  My original reasoning for this blog was to work on my writing and to have an on-going project to work on both of which have been very helpful.  It has been very good for me to commit to write daily and to have a deadline.  But the thing I wasn’t expecting was the cathartic /therapeutic nature of complete self-disclosure.  Also, I thought my only readers would be a handful of friends having no idea there is sort of camaraderie among bloggers I am very thankful to have effectively entered into.